The Power of the Right Coach (continued from previous page)
By Denis Waitley
If you're just starting out as an associate in a large law firm, you might choose one of the senior partners
as your mentor, or perhaps a partner in another firm you're familiar with. If you're just starting a family,
and you're facing the lifestyle adjustments that kids require, your mentor could very likely be someone
who is reaching the other end of this very exciting, but demanding, process. In any case, your mentors
should be people whose experience can serve as a model for reaching your most significant goals in the
most important areas of your life.
Selecting a mentor is not just a matter of finding someone you like or feel comfortable identifying with.
Make sure that the mentors you choose have a genuine history of success. I'm continually amazed by the
number of people who look to only superficially successful people as role models for achievement. Even
experts can make conspicuous mistakes of judgment in this area. The next time you're in a bookstore or
library, take a look at the bestselling books on business and management from four or five years ago.
There's an excellent chance that some of the companies cited as models of efficiency are now out of
business. I don't bring this up to disparage anyone's business expertise, but simply to point out the need
for great care in selecting a coach whose success will stand the test of time.
In addition to selecting your coaches based on their ability to achieve goals similar to your own, choose
mentors who in the process have overcome some of the same obstacles you're facing. Ideally, a mentor
really represents both what you want to become in a particular area of life and what you want to do.
Seeing your mentors today is like seeing what you intend to be. The coach has arrived at or been to places
similar to where you want to go.
Choosing a celebrity or public figure as a mentor is a very questionable decision. If at all possible, select a
mentor with whom you can actually spend time and with whom you enjoy having conversations and
exploring ideas.
Of course, you can have admired historical personages, authors, educators, or artists as role models. If
you discover someone with whom you feel a special affinity, make an effort to obtain everything that
person has written or said. Really become a student of the person's work and life. Don't just admire him or
her, genuinely learn from him or her, as I have learned from the life and wisdom of Benjamin Franklin.
One of the most interesting aspects of selecting a mentor is the fact that one can rarely separate people's
tangible achievements from the qualities of their character. More than their bank accounts or their real
estate holdings, role models prove by the conduct of their lives that they're worth emulating.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Avoid Fair-Weather Supporters
When you seek support and feedback, be sure it is from people who are truly interested in seeing you
succeed. Don't seek feedback from fair-weather friends, competitive peers, or any person who doesn't
have your best interests at heart. Neutral doesn't count. Get feedback from someone who is on your side
but will still be objective and brutally honest with you.
Continued on page 3 of 3
By Denis Waitley
If you're just starting out as an associate in a large law firm, you might choose one of the senior partners
as your mentor, or perhaps a partner in another firm you're familiar with. If you're just starting a family,
and you're facing the lifestyle adjustments that kids require, your mentor could very likely be someone
who is reaching the other end of this very exciting, but demanding, process. In any case, your mentors
should be people whose experience can serve as a model for reaching your most significant goals in the
most important areas of your life.
Selecting a mentor is not just a matter of finding someone you like or feel comfortable identifying with.
Make sure that the mentors you choose have a genuine history of success. I'm continually amazed by the
number of people who look to only superficially successful people as role models for achievement. Even
experts can make conspicuous mistakes of judgment in this area. The next time you're in a bookstore or
library, take a look at the bestselling books on business and management from four or five years ago.
There's an excellent chance that some of the companies cited as models of efficiency are now out of
business. I don't bring this up to disparage anyone's business expertise, but simply to point out the need
for great care in selecting a coach whose success will stand the test of time.
In addition to selecting your coaches based on their ability to achieve goals similar to your own, choose
mentors who in the process have overcome some of the same obstacles you're facing. Ideally, a mentor
really represents both what you want to become in a particular area of life and what you want to do.
Seeing your mentors today is like seeing what you intend to be. The coach has arrived at or been to places
similar to where you want to go.
Choosing a celebrity or public figure as a mentor is a very questionable decision. If at all possible, select a
mentor with whom you can actually spend time and with whom you enjoy having conversations and
exploring ideas.
Of course, you can have admired historical personages, authors, educators, or artists as role models. If
you discover someone with whom you feel a special affinity, make an effort to obtain everything that
person has written or said. Really become a student of the person's work and life. Don't just admire him or
her, genuinely learn from him or her, as I have learned from the life and wisdom of Benjamin Franklin.
One of the most interesting aspects of selecting a mentor is the fact that one can rarely separate people's
tangible achievements from the qualities of their character. More than their bank accounts or their real
estate holdings, role models prove by the conduct of their lives that they're worth emulating.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Avoid Fair-Weather Supporters
When you seek support and feedback, be sure it is from people who are truly interested in seeing you
succeed. Don't seek feedback from fair-weather friends, competitive peers, or any person who doesn't
have your best interests at heart. Neutral doesn't count. Get feedback from someone who is on your side
but will still be objective and brutally honest with you.
Continued on page 3 of 3
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